pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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