Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
