I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
