I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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