i think my mom watched the whole time
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
