After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
