You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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