How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
