sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize