Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
did i just pee glitter
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
