i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
