he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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