so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
