Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
