yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
