Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize