I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
