Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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