in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
