Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
