Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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