She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
