he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
