just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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