i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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