i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
