Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
