Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize