oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
