Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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