i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
