i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
