Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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