The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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