dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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