Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
