Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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