You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
