no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
