one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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