That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have feelings that need drinking.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
