Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
