i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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