My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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