Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
