Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
