id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
