He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
