no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize