I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
