I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
