she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
