Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
should my penis look like a turkey
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
