Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
