You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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