At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
